So, I work the Empire, and I really enjoy my job. The Empire treats us well. Sometimes I know people must wonder how we can work for the empire, but we're not making chemical weapons, or testing eyeliner on rabbits, or growing ears on lab rats. At the end of the day, I feel like I've made a contribution towards the world being a better place.

I've started reading another Empire employee's blog called Microspotting, and love her observations on swag this week. I actually did some pricing for swag just today, and sent my boss the results. Jackets (fitting the universal definition on Microspotting) or USB mini fridges. I really REALLY thought the mini-fridges were cool, but no dice. Back to jackets. Oh well. The quest is the quest, some day I will get my USB mini-fridge. Or perhaps a USB snow man.

 

Anyway, I had to go look up "swag" on Urban Dictionary, because I was convinced it was an acronym. Apparently not, but I'm working on making it one, along the lines of "Silly Waste..." ok two more words to go. It's a project.

 

Back to Urban Dictionary. I love their allusions to the origin of swag, especially the poster's very astute observation of old usage vs. new usage: "Etymology of this term most likely stems from a middle-English use of the word 'swag' often in pirate circles or other criminal circles as a euphamism for loot or plunder. How anyone can really consider the modern day definition of swag as plunder or loot (since it's worthless) is beyond understanding."

Oh great Microspotter, I have been with the Empire five years as of this August, and I will say, there is, indeed, no end of strange, and occasionally useless swag. The Voodoo Vince doll (loved it).  A Fuzion Frenzy laser ball. The annual swag scramble at the Empire's yearly Administrative Professional's conference, where women, I kid you not, fought to obtain Tiffany bags. Not bags with anything in them, not bags made of leather, or any other durable material. Plain Tiffany shopping bags. And--perhaps my most useless swag gift from my days in games...toe socks for Midtown Madness. (In the running with the toe socks, I have also received a stapler and tape dispenser in the shape of the little IM green/blue figures.)

 

It amazes, astounds, confounds that an entire industry exists to create these items which could never be cool (except Voodoo Vince) even in an Artic freeze. But--Microspotting blogger--I do love your "I am the empire shirt". And it will never be in the not cool category.